Sunday, August 23, 2009


All of my life I've been finding myself, figuring out who I am. Over the years I've been musical theatre girl, music girl, reader girl, [insert television show] girl, sci-fi girl, writer girl, quirky girl, old movie girl, Audrey Hepburn girl, hippie girl, art girl, etc., etc. I've often felt that I had to categorize myself like this, because so many other people, it seems, are categorized. It's like, I'm an English major, which means I think deep thoughts and criticize people on their grammar, and read Sylvia Plath and drink coffee. While I enjoy all of those things (Except I hate regular coffee. It's a mocha or nothing. Also, sometimes the deep thoughts aren't exactly ever-flowing.), I don't just enjoy those things. I love Buffy the Vampire Slayer comic books, I hate tea, and I really want a cat.
Sometimes I think I'm more likely to categorize myself in front of people. I'm musical theatre girl in front of my theatre friends, sci-fi girl in front of my friends who are into that, but I very seldom cross those lines. My new goal is to stop doing that. I want my friends to have all of me, not just the parts I know they would like.
In high school I wasn't a completely different person, but I wasn't the same either. There were a lot of things I hadn't yet discovered about myself, and a lot of things I hadn't discovered for myself. In high school I had completely different goals for myself (well, I don't know about completely. There were still some things the same).
This post is a little scattered, but I'm feeling a little scattered. I'm starting to feel like I'm really back, in that I'm a little scared. I'm confident that I can do really well this semester, but I know getting through will be tough.
And I really just want to be myself.